What to Give Yourself for Valentine's Day

How about giving yourself the gift of listening to your heart?

You’ve heard the phrase, "Follow your heart." Usually, when people say it, they mean you should do what you really want to do. But what does that actually mean, and why should you listen? In Traditional Chinese Medicine, the heart is considered the Emperor of the body. Not only does it pump blood to all of your parts, but it also houses your shen or spirit. Shen is said to encompass physical vitality as well as mental acuity, including our ability to adapt and flow with life. Other mental functions associated with shen include memory, perception, belief, imagination, and creativity. Of the 7 emotions that are linked to shen, the one tied to the heart is JOY. Pursuing joy is an important part of living a healthy life. Meditation and mindfulness guru, Deepak Chopra, claims this is the whole point of living. So why do we not listen to our hearts? For starters, we've gone deaf to our own inner voice. Like your teenage son becoming nose-blind to his piled-up gym clothes, we get so conditioned to our daily grind, we don't tune-in anymore. Another way of saying that is, we're so busy with outward pursuits and obligations, we don't take the time to look inward these days. We may have even lost the skill. Looking inward can mean becoming more attuned to what's important to you, or as Chopra puts it, "following the guidance of your true self." According to Chopra, quieting your mind can help you get in touch with your true self. Here are a few key ways you can begin to do this. 1) Practice meditation, or sitting in a quiet place while you focus on gaining awareness of the present moment (without judging how you're doing or what you're feeling).

2) Engage in breathwork. This is where you use different breathing patterns to help your body optimize how oxygen and carbon dioxide are transferred within the cells, eliciting a specific response--such as balance, calm, or heat within the body.

3) Sitting in silence. This seems contrary to our usual experience, since most people's heads race when things are quiet. Chopra insists that the more you experience true silence, i.e., being away from phones, TV, music, and even other voices, the more your mind will be able to settle into it.

Doing these things regularly helps your body down-regulate out of the stressed-out "fight or flight" mode into "rest and digest" mode, allows your mind to practice letting go of its usual noise, and invites patient and curious introspection. Achieving quiet is itself work, and it can take tons of practice before you truly achieve a "quiet mind." But practicing any of these activities, even for 5-10 minutes a day, can make your true self much more accessible to you. You'll know it when you hear it. This is the voice that is empowered, authentic, peaceful, and creative. Not the one that's defensive, threatened and resentful. Marie Forleo, speaker, author and business leader who teachers entrepreneurs how to grow a heart-centered business, says her authentic voice becomes clearer when she does these 3 things: 1) Moves her body. Any type of exercise or movement such as walking, or dance can remove blocks and create energy and excitement that allows you to connect to your true dreams and desires.

2) Writes in a journal. Giving yourself prompts such as, "Wouldn't it be cool if…" can open you up to thoughts and emotions that wouldn't otherwise arise. It also allows you to dream wildly, without the sticky limitations your logical mind often conjures. Once you've placed your dreams on paper, check in with yourself to see which ones stir you the most.

3) Pays attention to what seems really fun and joyful. If your heart pursues joy, then when you feel joyful, you're aligned with your heart. Use this as a litmus test to see what activities, people, and scenarios you're drawn to.

In my experience, honoring what's in my heart always entails getting in touch with my sensual self. That means tapping into how I'm feeling rather than just focusing on what I'm thinking. Thinking can get in the way, as your mind doesn't always say nice things or perceive events with reasonable perspective. As with everything worthwhile, it takes time to develop the skill of listening to your heart, especially if it's been awhile since you've really been in touch. Give some of these habits a try and see what it turns up for you. Are you surprised by what your heart's telling you to do? Now, don’t be afraid to follow up your new knowledge with action. Take a leap!