6 Gifts of Love You Absolutely Need to Give To...

...YOURSELF!

It's officially the month of ❤ . In addition to cheesy Hallmark tokens, we have an opportunity to show the people we love what they mean to us. I'm sure you've bought or made your loves Valentines through the years. Stores hope you'll let chocolate and teddy bears communicate for you, and so showing love has become synonymous with buying things. But love is best expressed simply. In fact, love is best demonstrated in heartfelt motions and simple daily practices. While you'll probably do it up for your partner and kids this Valentine's Day, have you thought about what you'll do for yourself? After all, In order to fully and freely love others, you first have to love yourself. Why not take this month to expand your capacity for self-love and self-care? Being selfish is characterized by caring only for yourself, but these tips make you more able to find strength, peace and joy -- all of which will help you better care for others, too. Try some or all of these actions in their simplest form or kick them up a notch to create a really powerful self-care practice. 6 GIFTS OF SELF-LOVE: A deep breath

Followed by another, and another and so on… This is your pause button. It's your reset, reboot and renewal option, so your system doesn't get overwhelmed. By taking this physical breath break, you bring good energy into your body and expel toxins and waste. Kick it up a notch: Begin a daily breathing practice. Practice by inhaling deeply and slowly for 5 counts, holding a count, and exhaling slowly for 5 counts. Do this for 5 minutes a day to slow your pulse, increase your lung capacity, reset your nervous system and bring calm to your days.

Non-Judgement

You're not too fat…or too short…or too hairy…or too anything. Suspend all judgement of yourself and just commit to accepting yourself as you are in this moment. Not good or bad, just that you are. Kick it up a notch: Apply this notion of non-judgment to situations. You lost your job? It's not good or bad, it just is. Now, on to figuring out what to do about it. Try applying it to other people, too. Your neighbor is annoying. She just is who she is. Let it be and don't allow it to drive you crazy. Taking the emotions out of it empowers you to act with reason and purpose, and that helps keep your actions in alignment with your values.

Silence

It's pretty rare to have real quiet time in this day and age. When you're not in front of someone else, you're likely talking on the phone, surfing the internet, answering emails, joining a Zoom meeting or watching tv. Real silence is so rare, most of us are uncomfortable with it and actively work to fill it with some kind of noise. (My husband has been known to watch videos on his phone while watching a movie-gah!) Sitting in silence is a true brain break. It helps reset your brain, regenerating brain cells and creating peace and calm. It also fights mental fatigue, improves focus and inspires creativity. Kick it up a notch: . Enjoy true silence for a short while everyday. See what happens long-term. You may have some of your best ideas spring to life!

A word of thanks

Take time to express true, heartfelt thanks for something you have or experience. Don't just say it, but feel it in your heart. The benefits of gratitude are tangible. Being thankful improves your physiology, lifts your self esteem, enhances empathy and promotes healthier relationships. Kick it up a notch: Start a gratitude practice such as writing in a gratitude journal or simply noting three things you are thankful for before bed each night. It's almost impossible to feel angry and thankful at the same time. The gratitude overtakes negative emotions, fills you with warmth and gives you perspective.

Nature time

Step outside and look around. It's that simple. Stand with bare feet on natural ground. Feel your toes dig into the dirt, letting the living matrix of the earth's energy create balance with your body's biological systems. This has actually been shown to improve cardiac function, decrease inflammation and brighten mood! Stand at the roots of a tree, feeling the sturdy flow of life rise up through the soil, up the trunk and into the branches and leaves. Marvel at the habits of wildlife for a moment. View a sunrise or a sunset. Kick it up a notch: Find time to go outside for a little bit everyday. Experience your surroundings with openness to the way we're all interconnected parts of this massive, wondrous universe.

A joy refill

A smile, a laugh, a hug--these will lift anyone's spirit. And they're all free. Kick it up a notch: Do things that energize you and do them frequently. If you feel uplifted when you hang out with your bestie, make time for that. If walking is your jam, walk your fur baby everyday. These are simple things that can generate real joy. Beyond that, journaling, creative arts, massages, even cleaning can make people feel good. Discover what works for you and make it a regular thing. It will help refuel you, and a properly fueled you can react with poise, make good decisions and see the humor in even the bleakest moments… and who couldn't use a good laugh? We don't need a Valentine's Day to tell people we love them, but it's not a bad marker to remind us that we should show love to others and ourselves. Take time this month to care for yourself and, if possible, create some new self-care habits that will benefit you and your loved ones, too.

Don't forget to share your experiences in the comments below. I'd love to hear how these techniques work for you. Happy Love Month, friends!

By the way, chocolate is a valid way to say, "I love you." Just sayin.